Principles of Self-Esteem
MEANING OF SELF-ESTEEM:
Self -esteem is made up of the thoughts, feelings and opinions we have about ourselves. Sometimes, people don't even realize that they are thinking so negatively about themselves. But once you are aware of it, and know that the way you think is up to you. You can begin to change the way you think. And changing the way you think about yourself changes the way you feel about yourself.
Self - esteem is a healthy belief in oneself and respect for one's worth as a person. It is the feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities and judgement.
Self-esteem is a fundamental unit of one's personality. The fact is quite related to self- understanding. And it is often linked to self-concept.
I do not say that gaining self-esteem is an easier task. Self-Esteem is one of the integral quality of a leader, hence if you are quite serious to build your self-esteem, you will have to work hard on yourself.
To enrich your self-esteem, you should understand the following principles:
Visualisation is a very powerful technique to enhance your self-esteem.
What do you see as your positive personal characteristics? Note it down in your diary. How about those negative ones? Note them as well. Now visualise as the person you want to become. Practice this technique everyday. Within a few days you will surely get a better result. Keep reading the contents of your diary whenever you have free time.
Visualisation helps to reprogram the subconscious mind and hence we accomplish a change in thought from negative to positive.
2. Self- Analysis:
You are the constructor of 'yourself'. You know yourself better than any other external forces, therefore you are the best mentor and motivator for yourself. You know about your strenghts and weaknesses. You are the only person who can find the solutons of those weaknesses. You are the only person who can apply those strenghts to maximise your self-esteem.
Self-analysis also allows you to improve on thoughts and feelings. Furthermore, self-analysis permits you to get to know yourself better.
3. Be objective:
To be objective means to know our strenght and limitations. We must have a clear picture of what we can do and what we can't.
In this regard, we also emphasise to minimise one's weaknesses by realistic approach.
4. Build on success:
This is one of the most effective way to boost your self-esteem. Learn to build your small success. Start with easier things which can be achieved easily. Let this easier things speak about your success. Little victories prepare your self-esteem to tackle the bigger ones.
5. Expect some failures:
Along the road to success, there will be many small failures. Avoid negative responses to failures. Acknowledge what went wrong and keep a courage to accept it. Move on again with a positive attitude.
6. Trust your own Value system:
You should understand that you can't please everyone. Develope your own positive value systems. Establish your own way of measuring progress and trust these values and actions. Once you learn how to tackle your problems, you will be among those who have proved themselves as a dynamic leaders.
7. Avoid criticism:
Don't undervalue yourself. Criticism may be external or internal. Internal or self criticism is more painful than external one. To avoid external criticism, don't allow others to berated and belittle you. And, to avoid self criticism, you need to ask yourself about faults and errors. Understand your faults, realise them and correct them.
8. Don't compare your life to others' lives:
Many who are studying how to gain self-esteem compare themselves to others. This is the worst thing you can do. Some people are born lucky, and the old sayings goes, "comparisons are odious". It is bad for your self-esteem to view your life as inferior to someone else's life. Focus on what you have in your life and how you can utilise them to live a happier life. Look for the opportunities around you; come out of your confort zone; take some calculated risks; do both smart and hard work, there is no doubt that you will achieve something extraordinary success.
9. Renew your Self-Esteem each day:
Encourage yourself by giving yourself credit for making positive changes. Establish a daily practice to support and build your self-esteem. Consider yoga, positive affirmation, meditation etc. Meditation increases self-esteem by giving you a real sense of worth. When you meditate, you observe your inner thoughts and feelings. This technique of relaxation enhances the chemicals of the brain that promote a sense of well-being.
Self-esteem is not an art therefore it can't be learnt from external sources. It is the subject of self-Understanding. We can't buy it from a market. 'Lack of self-esteem' doesn't mean 'Absence of self-esteem'; it is an essential ingredients of all Homo Sapiens. We will have to improve our self-understanding which will help us to know our potential. If our potential is in dormant state then it becomes necessary for us to come out from 'fight or flight' state of mind. I have shared some effective principles of Self-esteem in this article. These principles are effective only when we make ourselves mentally prepared to invest our time and energy to develop ourself psychologically and philosophically. You will have to respect yourself as a human resource. If you don't find any quality in you which can be respected then you need to acquire those qualities as soon as possible.
Wish you a happy life
S. N. Pathak
S. N. Pathak